hollyjpaulsen:

beyoncepatronus:

a nsa agent in a suit looking through my laptop camera: she’s on her phone…….. our data shows that she’s got tumblr open on her laptop but she has tumblr open on her phone………. double check her browser?

some nerd hired straight out of college: *types rapidly* she’s definitely got tumblr open on her laptop

the nsa agent, softly: so why is she looking at it on her phone…..

My husband and myself have served in the military. When we call home from overseas, our lines are monitored and on a short delay so no sensitive information is revealed. The line will just go dead if you say something you’re not supposed to.

Now, these calls are monitored by a department in the military called Signal corps. When we’d talk on my husband’s last deployment, we had a running joke that we said hi to “Signal Guy Fred.”

So this continued for his entire 12 month deployment, and we made sure we said hi or bye to “Signal Guy Fred” every phone call. On his final phone call before returning home we made sure to thank “Signal Guy Fred” for his time and wish him farewell.

So, before I disconnect the call, I wish “Fred” the best and thank him for his service. My phone was on speaker mode (I was cooking dinner) and my finger was hovering over the end call button when I hear the softest little, “My name’s Jason.”

dadd:

*stays home* i should’ve gone out

*goes out* i should’ve stayed home

firebreathingbitchqueenx:

just-shower-thoughts:

People without glasses are really out here seeing for free

Oh my god I really do have to pay to see what the fuck

algrenion:

kahavave:

yourweeaboobs:

weloveshortvideos:

there’s a goat! why is there a goat!? oh my god! there’s a fucking lama!

PLEASEEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD UNMUTE THIS HE’S SO PERPLEXED

For anyone who still hasn’t seen the details on this; zoo break out.  Those are zoo animals.  Which is why they’re so comfortable around humans and the goat came looking for food.

the way it cuts at the end with that grunt of confusion

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com)

fat-mabari:

setbabiesonfire:

becausebirds:

Fuck this tree in particular. [source video]

why birb

why

that has to be the angriest fucking woodpecker I haver ever seen

zsnes:

mycologicalsociety:

woke up to my neighbor screaming “louder please, alexa!” and now ring of fire by johnny cash is positively Blasting through the morning air

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